


when the light gets into your heart

by antijosh



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: M/M, Record Shop AU, alternate universe - the 80s?, are there even existing tags for this, both good and bad, copious references to 80s music, working title was soft 80s boys and that's really all you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-06 03:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16824358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antijosh/pseuds/antijosh
Summary: in which studio j record shop and sungjin's poor taste in music bring brian and jae together, and it’s gonna take a lot more than that to tear them apart.





	1. discord and rhyme

**Author's Note:**

  * For [softtofustew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/softtofustew/gifts).



> so uhhhh younghyun's teaser pic w the mullet and orange eyeshadow dropped while i was sitting in gen chem lecture and this fic was born. also i love 80s music and i make no apologies ok bye. not beta'd so all mistakes are mine!

Miles away from sunset boulevard, tucked between an ice cream shop and a laundromat, Jae’s favorite record shop sits hidden, waiting for him like a sweet oasis in the middle of a hot Californian summer. The change as soon as he crosses the threshold is instant: his mood lifts, shoulders sagging with relief when the familiar scratch of whatever vinyl Sungjin has playing reaches his ears. Studio J records is the one place Jae feels like he can be himself, without having to worry about what anyone else might think. After all, it's usually just him and Sungjin, and Sungjin is 20 with a shaved head which means he has no right to tell anyone anything, unless it's about music. 

Jae left much earlier than he probably should have from his job at the pier, coming down here for a break from both the people and the heat. The bell on the door chimes pleasantly as soon as he enters, and it doesn't take him much longer after that to identify the record playing: Dust in the Wind by Kansas. Sungjin must be in one of his moods again. 

Jae drifts over to his favorite section, synth pop, thumbing through the records to see if anything's been added since the last time he was here. It's actually been a while this time, a whole two weeks, because work and his parents have kept Jae busy as ever, despite it being summer vacation. When school starts again in the fall he'll have even less time to hang around Studio J, so he's trying to get his fix now, while he can. 

Jae goes through the records one by one, stopping on old favorites to admire the art or scan the track list like he hasn't seen it a thousand times before. It's his favorite part of this whole routine; the simple joy of appreciating things he already knows he likes. It's safe—comfortable. Easy. 

He's not even halfway through synth pop when the bell chimes again, making Jae's head snap up in surprise. Usually Studio J is empty, and especially so at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon. But here, coming through the door, is a boy Jae's never seen before, which is even more unusual.

He's tall, taller than Sungjin at least, and has a black guitar case slung over his back. His hair hangs shaggy down his neck, a style Jae very much admires but could never pull off, and big silver earrings reflect the late afternoon sunlight. 

Sungjin looks up from the register and makes a face. "If you play that damn ABBA song one more time, I'm kicking you out," he threatens, and the kid laughs.

"I got new stuff to play today, promise," he says, voice low and pleasant. The boy turns, scanning the shop and making the briefest eye contact with Jae before looking back to Sungjin. "Got any requests for me?"

Sungjin gestures with an empty hand towards the stool in the corner, right next to where Kansas is still crooning from the record player. "Show me your new songs, kid."

Jae tries to be discreet about watching the new guy, but he fails miserably. He has to hide his surprise when, instead of a guitar, the kid produces a bass from the black case, propping it up on his knee to tune it carefully. His brows scrunch together in concentration, and Jae can’t help but think  _ cute _ . 

One the bass is tuned to the newcomer’s satisfaction, he props his bass up against the counter and hops up, heading for the aisle that Jae is currently hovering in. Jae short circuits, not moving even as the boy comes closer and closer. Then, the boy is speaking to him, and Jae forgets how to breathe. 

“They have Duran Duran in there?” he asks, and it takes Jae an embarrassingly long time to even nod, pulling out the first album from the band that he sees in front of him. The boy flips it over to examine the track list, and then grins. Jae takes a moment to admire his straight teeth, the mole on the bridge of his nose, and the eyeshadow smudged clumsily along his lashes. 

“Perfect. Thank you,” he says easily before turning back and heading for the corner again. Jae watches, now unabashedly, as the boy changes the record and picks up his bass again, settling on the stool as the music begins to play. Jae recognizes it immediately: Hungry Like the Wolf, a new release and one of his current favorites. The boy plucks along with the song, the bass strings providing a pleasant thrum that’s not quite like anything Jae’s heard before. He hums along, too, voice low and smooth even through the chorus. Jae watches his fingers moving against the strings, the way he pendant swings at the hollow of his throat, how his hair falls over his forehead. The boy is kind of enchanting, and Jae finds himself feeling very glad that he left work early. 

When the boy finishes, he looks up expectantly even as the record begins the next song. Sungjin gives him a begrudging clap, and Jae joins him, although he thinks he's probably a little more genuine about it. 

"Did you like it?" the kid asks Sungjin, and Sungjin nods.

"Sounds good," he says, and then a beat later he adds, "but anything is better than ABBA." 

"Pfffft," the boy replies, plucking out a jazzy pattern on his bass. "You just don't know what good music is, Sungjin."

"I know more than you, Brian," Sungjin replies, placing annoyed emphasis on the boy's— Brian's—name.    
Brian, Jae thinks. It suits him.

“Hyung, I just don’t think you  _ get  _ ABBA,” Brian starts, and Sungjin groans. It’s clear they’ve had this discussion before, which leaves Jae to wonder why exactly he’s never seen Brian before—if he came into Studio J, Jae should have seen him. And Jae could never forget a face like that. He’s pretty sure those cheekbones could cut diamonds. 

Sungjin and Brian bicker about European pop and the importance of variety in Sungjin’s music library for a few minutes longer and Jae tries to give them their privacy, moving a few rows back to look for a Lynyrd Skynyrd record he likes and always wished he could learn to play. Watching Brian play tinged a small ache in Jae’s heart, the same one he feels when he sees his dad’s old Taylor propped up in the corner, untouched for years. Eventually, though, Sungjin’s voice rings through the shop again. 

“Play me another song or leave,” he says, though there’s no bite to his words. Brian laughs, already moving back towards the record player. 

“What do you wanna hear, boss?”

Sungjin considers it for a moment, eyebrows scrunching together as he scans the shop. “Simple Man,” he finally says, firm and decisive. Jae cringes—of course Sungjin wants to hear the one record Jae currently has in his hand. 

Brian snorts. “You and your emo songs, hyung. See, this is why you need—”

“If you say I need to listen to ABBA I’ll break your bass,” Sungjjin threatens, which makes Brian laugh loud and warm, echoing through the shop. “And I want to hear you sing this time, I know you know all the words.” 

“You got it.” Brian grins, and then he looks to Jae like he knows, which Jae realizes is probably true—anyone who knows their shit about music or Studio J knows where to find the record Sungjin is asking for. 

Without Brian having to ask, Jae pulls the record for him, which brings a bright smile to Brian’s face. “Thanks man,” he says as he comes to take it from Jae, and all Jae can do is smile and nod in response. 

He waits and watches again as Brian sets up the record, pulling his bass back onto his lap and waiting for the opening notes to right through the shop before he starts to pluck along. This time though, in compliance with Sungjin’s request, he sings, and that takes Jae’s breath away.

Jae grew up in church choir, attending hour long practices twice a week just so he could since for the congregation of old ladies and their unwilling husbands every Sunday morning. He’s been trained—he knows how to sing, how to match pitch, but it’s all been in the context of hymns and choral music. Listening to Brian, he hears something raw. His voice is untrained, Jae can tell, but it’s beautiful just the same, low and haunting through the verses and then gritty and soaring through the chorus. Jae thinks he could listen to this boy sing forever.

He knows the song is nearly six minutes long, but it still seems to be over all too fast. Sungjin applauds again, and it feels just a little more sincere this time. Jae joins in, even going so far as to add a wolf whistle that makes Brian blush. 

“Not bad, kid,” Sungjin says, and Brian laughs again, softer this time. 

“Thanks,” he answers, eyes flitting to the clock that hangs above the register. “Shit,” he swears, “I gotta go. This was supposed to be a quick stop.”

“When is it ever a quick stop with you?” Sungjin asks dryly, but he actually comes down from behind the counter to help the boy pack up. When he’s done, Brian slings his bass case over his shoulder and pats down his pockets to make sure he isn’t forgetting anything. 

“See you tomorrow,” he says to Sungjin on his way out, before turning to Jae who’s moved to the soundtrack section. “See you around, maybe?”

“I’ll be back tomorrow too,” Jae blurts, despite having no plans to do so prior to about three seconds ago. 

“Well then, I’ll see you,” Brian replies, giving Jae one last smile before he pushes out the door, letting it slam shut behind him as he takes off down the sidewalk in a half jog. Jae watches him go before turning to Sungjin, who just gives him a look and sighs.

“His name is Brian Kang, he’s a high school senior this year and he comes in pretty much every afternoon at around three. Don’t embarrass yourself,” he says, and Jae puts a hand to his chest in mock offense.

“I would never,” he retorts, and Sungjin just shakes his head.

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow at three,” he says, and Jae gives him a wicked grin.   
“Tomorrow at three,” he echoes, before going to put one last song on before he has to leave for the day—Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is.” It’s a good way to end the day.

+

The next day, Jae is late. It’s not that he forgets—how could he, when all he’s thought about since he left Studio J yesterday is how much he wants to return—no, his boss is just an asshole and keeps him longer than he really should to clean up the mess a customer made. By the time he’s finally let off work, Jae has to run to make it to Studio J before four in the afternoon.

Luckily, Brian’s still there when Jae gets there, perched all pretty on the same stool as yesterday. His bass lays flat across his lap and his lower lip is caught between his teeth as he fiddles with the record player, trying to get the needle to fall just right. When the door opens he looks up, and his face splits into a grin.

“You came back,” he says like he wasn’t expecting it, and Jae can’t help but smile.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” he teases, and Brian nods.

“You did,” he says, with an undertone that Jae can’t quite catch. “I never got your name yesterday.”

It takes Jae a moment to realize that Brian is  _ asking _ for his name, albeit indirectly, and his eyes widen when it hit him, which makes Brian giggle. “Oh! I’m Jae. Sungjin and I went to high school together.”

“You in college?” Brian cocks an eyebrow, and Jae is quick to respond this time.

“A freshman this year,” he answers, and Brian relaxes just the slightest bit. Sungjin had assured Jae the previous afternoon that they really are just a year apart, despite Jae being intimidated by Brian’s musical prowess. 

“Nice to meet you properly then, Jae,” Brian says, and Jae gives him a gracious smile. 

“I don’t think you ever introduced yourself,” Jae replies, despite already knowing Brian’s name from the day before.

“My bad,” Brian grins. “My name is Brian but when I’m a professional musician I’m gonna go by Young K, so I wanna start trying that out now.”

Jae snorts. “I think I’ll stick with Brian, if that’s okay.” 

“Just ‘cause it’s you,” Brian replies, and Jae has to bite back the  _ what does that mean  _ because he can only handle so much flirting at once. 

“Got anything good to play today?” Jae asks, and Brian shrugs.

“Depends. You got anything good you wanna hear?”

Jae doesn’t have to think long. All last night, he couldn’t get Brian out of his head, and found himself humming one of his favorite songs, imagining what it would sound like with Brian playing and singing along.

“You know Tears for Fears?” he asks, and Brian snorts.

“Do I know Tears for Fears,” he mocks before hopping up, leaning his bass against the counter and moving purposefully towards where Jae knows this particular record is stored, the exact one he wanted to hear. After Brian’s set it up in the player and is back on the stool with his bass in hand, Jae makes another request.

“Can you sing it too?” He’s a little shyer with this one, since even Sungjin had to ask for it, and those two seem close. Still, Brian looks up, at first with wide eyes that scrunch up as his face melts into his now-familiar bright smile.

“Sure,” he replies, and Jae just nods in thanks, waiting for the song to play with his hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets. For a bass cover, the song itself isn’t particularly interesting, but what Jae really wanted to hear was Brian’s singing again. His voice suits this song almost too well, it’s natural roughness complementing the sentiment of the lyrics better than Jae could have even imagined. He breaks out his falsetto for the chorus, and Jae nearly swoons—the kid is almost too good, and it’s bad for Jae’s health and sanity. 

When the song finally winds down Jae finds himself mourning it a little bit, wishing that it could go on for just a little while longer. Sungjin emerges from the back as the song finishes, giving Brian some decent applause as Jae whistles like he did the day before, just to see if he can get the same reaction out of Brian. It works.

“You’re good,” Jae says, fully aware that he’s stating the obvious. Brian seems to appreciate the sentiment nonetheless, giving Jae a gracious nod in thanks. 

“Yes, he’s very good,” Sungjin says, fairly unamused in a way very typical for him. “I hate to do this guys, but I gotta go so I’m closing early today.”

Jae wants to complain, to beg and plead and say that he’s just gotten here, but Brian’s faster, hopping off his stool with a simple “okay, no worries.” Then he turns to Jae, bass still in hand, and cocks an eyebrow. “Wanna go get dinner?”

Jae doesn’t know that he’s ever said yes faster to anything in his whole life. 


	2. your love thawed out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter also un-beta'd bc im sick but wanted to get it up anyway ;; i apologize for any errors you may encounter, as they are all mine~

Brian drives a brown station wagon that he insists on referring to as Jane, and Jane smells like artificial vanilla emanating from the stoplight-shaped car freshener that dangles from her rear view mirror. Jane’s scratchy radio is playing Like A Virgin, Madonna’s sweet voice interrupted by the occasional bump in the road. Brian hums along though Jae can’t bring himself to—he just wants to listen. 

Jae doesn’t know where they’re going, which he supposes should scare him a little bit, but he’s surprisingly okay with it. He was promised dinner, and that’s what matters. Besides, Brian’s 18 and at least a few inches shorter than Jae, so Jae thinks he’s fairly safe. 

Mr. Blue Sky comes on the radio next, and that’s when Brian cranks it up, shooting Jae a glance over his arm on the steering wheel that says something like “you’d better sing along,” and how can Jae say no to that? Brian does the harmonies in falsetto and Jae cranks his window down to let some air into the car and it’s beautiful, wind hitting his skin as he hangs his arm out the window and sings about blue skies as the sun starts to dip just below the horizon, bathing everything in a soft orange light. 

As the song winds down, Brian pulls Jane into a parking lot sparsely populated with cars, everything illuminated by the purple sign proclaiming it to be “Nina’s Diner.” 

“My favorite place,” Brian explains as he turns the key, Jane’s engine cutting off with a bit of a sputter. 

“Perfect,” Jae replies simply, giving Brian a grin before they get out of the car. With the headlights off, the roundness of Brian’s cheeks is bathed in purple light, and his hair casts soft shadows across his forehead, neck, and shoulders. He’s just so very  _ pretty _ , Jae thinks. Before Brian, Jae didn’t even know boys could look that pretty. But maybe Brian’s just special. 

When Brian pushes through the door, Jae’s immediately hit with the smell coming off the kitchen and the sound of sizzling meat reaches his ears not long after. The floor is black and white tile, and all of the seats are a shiny teal vinyl (probably to complement the purple light still coming in from outside). Brian heads for a booth against the side windows and Jae follows without question, sliding in across from Brian as he tries to tamp down the nervous jitters in his legs. Brian doesn’t seem to notice the shaking though—he just gives Jae a wordless smile from across the table. Mere seconds have passed since they sat down when a waitress comes bustling over, placing two menus on the table with a click of their metal edging before she ruffles Brian’s hair.

“Hey kiddo,” she says cheerfully, like she’s been waiting for him. “How you been?”

“Good,” Brian chirps, and then her attention turns immediately to Jae.

“You brought a friend?” she asks, and Brian nods.

“This is Jae, I met him at Sungjin’s place,” he explains, and Jae just sort of nods along awkwardly in confirmation. 

“Good to meet you, Jae,” she says, giving Jae a sweet smile that shows off her orange-red lipstick. “You still in school?”

“Starting college in the fall, ma’am,” he answers, and that makes her laugh.

“No need to call me ma’am sweets, I’m not that old yet. Call me Nina. Or Miss Nina, if you’ve got manners like Brian here,” she responds, and then it clicks.

“This is your diner?” he asks, pitch raising with disbelief at the end. She does look young, probably mid thirties, and certainly not the woman Jae might have pictured as being the namesake of this place. 

Nina just laughs, loud and hearty as she tosses her head back. “You don’t think I look like I could be in charge?” she teases, and Jae shakes his head quickly.

“You look too young,” he replies truthfully, and she reaches out to pinch his cheek.

“Aw, you’re sweet. Brian, you’d do well to keep this one around for a while,” she says, turning to Brian to flash another smile. He ducks his head sheepishly in reply.

“Yeah, well,” he starts, eyes flitting nervously to Jae, “that’s the plan.”

“Anyway, enough chit chat. What do you boys want to eat?”

In the end they both have burgers, and Nina gives them extra fries on the house with the excuse that Jae needs some meat on his bones and Brian’s cuter when he’s a little chubby. Brian flushes pink at that, but it just pulls Jae’s attention to the soft roundness of Brian’s cheeks. Nina might be onto something. 

It turns out that Jae and Brian have more in common than either of them could have anticipated. Before he learned the bass Brian played guitar, and it seems like every song Jae knows, he knows too. They like the same music (for the most part—Jae’s still not sold on ABBA but he promises Brian he’ll give them another shot, just to savor in the smile the boy gives him afterwards), and Brian says he’ll learn the new a-ha song so he can play it for Jae the next time they’re at the shop. Jae tells him Sungjin might have Brian’s head for it, and Brian just throws his head back and laughs, loud and shameless.

It’s well past dark when they finally leave, walking side by side and close enough that Jae can feel the warmth radiating off of Brian. When Jae goes to buckle his seatbelt, his fingers brush Brian’s where the younger boy’s are sitting on the gear shift. Brian freezes, making Jae the one who has to pull away. He doesn’t want to, but he does anyway. If he thinks too much about it, Jae could swear Brian’s eyes follow Jae’s hand as it drops back to his lap. 

Jane’s radio has been turned down, now just softly crackling as the voice of Madonna provides sweet background music for their drive home. Jae tries to focus on the road ahead, giving Brian directions to get Jae home, but he can’t help but look over, marveling at how the younger boy’s fine features are illuminated by street lamps and passing headlights. Jae thinks he can feel the heat radiating off over Brian’s skin, even though the air around them has cooled to a pleasant summer night. Their proximity makes him feel almost dizzy—though they’ve been nearly this close all evening, Jae’s full stomach and the starry sky above them make everything feel even more intense than before. There’s a pleasant warmth, a soft thrum in his chest and stomach that Jae knows is the start of butterflies, a crush beginning to blossom beneath the surface. At least he can’t say he’s surprised. 

As the streets become more and more familiar and their time together grows short, Jae finds himself wishing that they could just stay in the car forever. They haven’t been talking as much on the way home as they had in the diner, but even the relative silence is companionable, not awkward. Jae doesn’t recognize the song that’s playing when Brian pulls into Jae’s driveway, but he likes it.

“Can we let the song finish?” he asks, eyes hopeful as he turns to look at Brian in the driver’s seat. 

“Sure,” Brian grins, allowing Jae to relax back into his seat. “I don’t have anywhere to be anytime soon.”

“Your parents won’t be worried?” Jae asks, as it occurs to him that Brian’s still a high schooler and his parents might frown on him staying out this late.

Brian just shrugs. “Let them worry. It’d be nice to know they still care.”

Jae doesn’t know what to say to that, and for some reason it makes Brian laugh. “Sorry,” he apologizes, “too heavy?”

“No,” Jae reassures him. Brian’s hand rests on the gear shift, and Jae takes a chance and places his over Brian’s. Brian looks up in surprise, but turns his hand so it’s palm up and Jae can lace their fingers together. Brian’s palm is warm, calloused, a little sweaty—perfect. 

“It’s your life,” he continues, and Brian seems a little flustered, but listens earnestly anyway. “Nothing you feel about it is too much.”

Brian averts his eyes to look out the windshield, but he leaves his hand holding Jae’s. Letting out a low whistle, he says, “you really know how to fluster a guy on day one, Jae Park.”

Jae snorts. “Says you. I bet you’ll break all the girls hearts on the first day of senior year.”

At that, Brian looks back to Jae. “Maybe,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eye. “But there’ll be just one guy I’m thinking of.”

“You’re a smooth talker, Kang,” Jae says appreciatively, hoping that the dim lighting of the car hides his flush. Looking up towards his house, he sees that the living room light in on, and either his mother or sister is standing near the window. “I should probably get inside,” he says, and Brian nods, reluctantly pulling his hand back from where they were still joined. “Thank you for tonight.”

Brian nods in reply and Jae tries to get out and head in, but then he hears Brian’s voice calling him back so he loops around to stand next to Brian’s window. Brian rolls the glass down, looking up at Jae with hopeful eyes. 

“Will I see you again at Studio J?” he asks, and Jae considers it for a moment.

“I’ll do you one better,” he decides. “You got a pen in there?”

Brian rummages around his glove box for a bit and eventually produces a black pen, which he hands to Jae through the open window. Jae takes the pen in one hand and Brian’s palm in the other, flipping it to scribble something on the back of Brian’s hand.

“There,” he says when he’s finished. “That’s my number. Not that I won’t go back to Studio J, but you know. If you ever want to talk or see me outside of that…” he trails off, hoping Brian will get the message.

“I’ll know where to find you,” Brian finishes with an easy smile. 

“Exactly,” Jae breathes. Sparing a glance back at the window, he sees whoever is there still waiting for him. “Ok, now I really should go. And you should call me sometime.”

“Will do,” Brian smiles as Jae steps back so he can start up Jane’s engine.

“Drive safe,” Jae says with a wave, and he thinks he hears Brian say that he will as he pulls away. Jae stays in the driveway until he can’t see Jane’s tail lights anymore, and then he finally heads inside. 

The figure inside turns out to be his older sister, hovering by the door with an unreadable expression.

“Who was that?” she asks as soon as Jae’s crossed the threshold.

“A kid I met at the record shop,” Jae answers with a shrug.

“What’s his name?”

“Brian,” Jae answers easily. “He’s Korean too. A year younger than me. Nice guy.”

His sister just nods, Jae having answered all of the questions she had yet to ask. “Go upstairs to bed, it’s late. I’ll lock up,” she says, shooing him away from the door. Jae complies easily, and as he makes his way up to his room to go to sleep, he just hopes that his sister didn’t recognize the dopey smile on his face for exactly what it is—a crush. 

+

It doesn’t take Brian long to call. In fact, he calls by the next afternoon. Jae rushes to pick up, trying not to get too hopeful in case it was just one of his aunts calling to bother his sister about when she’s finally going to settle down, but his heart jumps when he hears Brian’s voice crackling on the other end of the line.

“Is this Jae?” he asks, and Jae hurries to reply. 

“It’s me,” he answers, voice harried and breathy. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Brian replies smoothly. “Just wanted to call and make sure you got in okay last night.”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you if you got home okay? You were the one that dropped me off,” Jae snorts, and he can hear Brian’s twinkling laugh over the phone.

“Touché,” he answers. “And that was a lie anyway. Well, I mean, I did want to make sure you got inside okay. But I also wanted to see if you wanted to go out and do something tomorrow.”

“Like what?” Jae prods, curious to see if Brian has an actual plan in mind or if the younger boy is just taking a stab in the dark. 

“Whatever you want,” Brian replies easily. “The fair is still open this weekend, we could go there. Or if you’re tired of the pier we could go hang out at Studio J and I’ll be your personal jukebox.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you’re much more fun to look at than a jukebox.” The comment just sort of slips out, and Jae curses himself silently for not holding his tongue. Not that he thinks he’s been hiding the fact that he’s interested from Brian very well, but that may have been coming on just a little too strong. He wishes that they were face to face, so he could watch Brian’s expression, but instead he’s just met with the crackling static of the phone line. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, thanks Park,” Brian finally answers, and the bemusement is evident in his voice. Jae relaxes, once again glad that Brian can’t see him. 

“You’re welcome Kang,” he replies, briefly covering the phone with his hand so Brian won’t hear his sigh of relief. When he takes his hand away, he says, “Going down to the shop sounds good, if you don’t mind that it’s less exciting than the pier.”

“I would like nothing more,” Brian teases. “Besides, going to Studio J is free, and I’m a poor high school student. Anything free is automatically better.” 

“So Studio J tomorrow then. Your usual time?” Jae asks, mind already doing laps around himself as he thinks about what songs Brian might play, or if he has any good music recommendations that Brian might not have heard yet. 

“If it works for you,” Brian chirps in reply. 

“Wouldn’t suggest it otherwise,” Jae points out sweetly, feeling the familiar warmth of pride rise in his chest when it makes Brian laugh.

They go back and forth a while longer, till Brian’s dad starts asking who he’s talking to and Jae’s sister bugs him for the phone so she can call whatever new fling she has going on at the moment. They part with plans for the next day, and Jae knows he’ll be able to think of nothing else until then. 

+

As Jae makes his way down to Studio J the next afternoon, he realizes that this is the most done up those walls will ever see him. He spent over an hour getting ready, trying on outfit after outfit and teasing his hair up in the front and smearing on some of his older sister’s eyeshadow to mirror Brian’s signature look. He thinks he’s done at least an okay job if he does say so himself, and each time he catches a glimpse of his reflection in a store window he gets a new wave of confidence. There’s no way Brian won’t like this. 

Still, his new look can’t compensate for the fact that he’s late—when he finally reaches the shop, he can already see Brian sitting with his bass when he peeks through the window. Sungjin’s behind the register as always, but for once there’s another employee, Wonpil, organizing some new arrivals by the back wall. Wonpil’s a nice kid—his parents run a piano academy and he plays a mean Beethoven symphony, even though Jae knows he’s more into alt rock than he is classical. Jae’s talked to him more than a few times, and he remembers that Wonpil refers to Studio J as his escape. Jae can understand where he’s coming from. 

Brian’s hair looks extra messy today, falling into his eyes when he looks up from his bass at the sound of the door. His face splits into a grin immediately at the sight of Jae, which brings a heat to Jae’s chest and a flush to his cheeks. 

“Hey,” Brian greets, raking a hand through his hair to push it back. That lets Jae get a better look at Brian’s fox-like eyes, which today are accented by messy red eyeshadow that should look bad but somehow doesn’t. 

“Hi,” Jae breathes, giving a nod of greeting to Wonpil as he makes his way into the shop, through the rows of vinyls and to the corner where Brian’s perched on his stool. Jae isn’t really sure what the proper etiquette is concerning how close he should stand, but when he hovers awkwardly near the closest box of records Brian just beckons him closer. 

“You’re just in time,” he grins, “I haven’t played anything yet, you should pick something out for me.”

There’s a stack of records Brian pulled next to the player, and Jae takes it that he’s supposed to choose from that pile. 

He flips through for a bit—any would be good to hear, but there’s one that really catches his eye. Jae takes initiative and puts it in the player himself, ignoring the way Brian’s eyes widen comically. He figures that if Brian put it in the pile, he knows how to play it.

Thankfully, Brian seems to recognize it clearly, letting out a cute little “ah” and moving his fingers into position on the strings, starting to pluck along with the intro. “Maneater,” is one of Jae’s favorites, and he finds it especially fitting that Brian’s the one playing it. Eighteen year old Brian, with his eyeshadow and messy hair and jewelry and voice and fingers—he’s far beyond a triple threat. To Jae, Brian’s downright deadly. But hey, who’s to say Jae doesn’t like that about him. 

Jae’s just as enamored with Brian’s voice as he was the first time he heard it, and the fact that he loves the song so much only makes it worse. Brian breaks into falsetto just because he can, and it’s complemented beautifully by the deep, rich sound of his fingers hitting the bass strings. 

Jae leans against the counter till the song finishes, but Wonpil beats him to the applause. Sungjin gives an appreciative nod, and Jae, deciding that he needs to be a little extra, lets out a whoop that earns him a glare from Sungjin. Still, the shy smile it brings to Brian’s face makes it worth it. 

“Think that’s my new favorite song,” Jae comments, which makes Brian’s full cheeks flush a pretty pink. 

“Find something else for me to play,” he says, refusing to make eye contact with Jae. It’s cute, so cute that Jae has trouble tearing his eyes away from Brian to look for another record. 

Brian makes it through two more songs before he announces he needs a break, resting his bass against the wall as he hops off the stool. Jae is standing too close and doesn’t realize until it’s too late—neither does Brian, who stumbles in his last minute effort to avoid landing on Jae’s toes. Jae reaches out instinctively, hand wrapping around Brian’s elbow to steady him.

“Thanks,” Brian says softly, looking up at Jae with soft, wide eyes.

“No problem,” Jae breathes in reply, finally remembering to release Brian’s elbow now that he’s steady on his feet again. He thinks he hears Sungjin snort from behind the register, but Jae pays him no mind. He does step back however, and a confused expression crosses Brian’s face. Jae opens his mouth immediately to remedy that.

“Where’d you learn to play bass?” he asks, a question that’s been bugging him since the first day but that somehow never came up during dinner. 

“My dad taught me,” Brian answers, face lighting up once again. “Well, he taught me guitar first, but he used to play bass in a band in his hometown, so I asked him to teach me that too.”

“So you play guitar too?” Jae asks, eyebrows raised, and Brian nods. “Why do bass covers then?”

It comes out wrong enough that Jae knows his mother would be disappointed in him for being rude, but Brian doesn’t seem to mind because he just shrugs, mouth screwing up a bit as he thinks. Finally he says, “I guess I just like the bass a little better. It has character to it.”

Jae just nods, and then he blurts, “I used to play too.” Brian’s head snaps up, and it’s clear that a wave of excitement comes over him, because he immediately grabs at Jae’s forearm.

“You can play guitar?” he asks, voice higher than usual in his excitement, and Jae nods again, now unsure as to whether he should have revealed that or not. “Why didn’t you say so before? We can play together!”

Jae shakes his head, doing his best to let Brian down gently. “I haven’t played in years, ever since my dad’s guitar stopped working right.” It’s the truth—it’s been so long that Jae’s not even sure if he could remember the basic chords. Still, Brian’s excitement barely breaks, just softens to his typical bright smile, all scrunched up nose and crinkled eyes and big dimples. 

“It’s okay hyung, you can learn again.” Jae finds himself feeling incredibly soft at Brian’s use of an honorific, which he soon realizes is probably a tactic Brian is attempting to employ so that Jae will play again. “We’ll get you a guitar again, and then we can play together.”

“Whatever you say, kid,” Jae laughs. Brian’s cute, with his big dreams of getting Jae another guitar on either of their minimum wage salaries. But then again, Brian’s cute no matter what. Jae’s starting to think that’s the heart of all his problems. 


	3. see the stone set in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i somehow managed to wrap this up in time for new years!! at least in my time zone anyway~ happy new year to everyone, i hope 2019 is wonderful to you <333 this chapter is un-beta'd bc im trying to get it out to reach my 2018 goal so! any mistakes are mine!! chapter title from [with or without you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DeDzsCGbsQ), which i recommend listening to while you read if you can. i think thats it, so i hope you enjoy!!

The next time Jae sees Brian after that, it’s because Brian shows up at his door. They’ve called each other in the interim, but with school starting up for both of them it’s been tough to find time to spend together. Still, Jae finds himself wondering when this pretty boy he met in a record shop became one of his favorite people. 

Needless to say, Brian’s face isn’t what Jae expects to see when he opens the door at 8 pm on a Tuesday night, but Jae would be lying if he called it anything less than a pleasant turn of events.

Brian’s smile when the door opens is bright as ever, hands shoved in his jeans pockets and a guitar case slung over his back. He’s gone for more of a neutral brown eyeshadow look tonight, to compliment a brown and burgundy button up, and Jae thinks it suits him. He tells him as much when he steps out onto the front porch, which makes Brian flush a pretty pink. 

“Let’s go, hyung,” he says, changing the subject with a jerky nod towards the driveway, where Jane is noticeably absent. In her place is a powder blue pick up truck, but Jae thinks he sees the same Captain America charm dangling from the rearview mirror. “I have something I wanna show you.”

Jae spares a cursory glance back to his house, but there’s no sister watching from the window and even if there was, Jae doesn’t think he could tell Brian no anyway. 

“Okay,” he answers easily. “Show me what you got.”

+

Brian drives like he’s got nowhere to go, running five under the speed limit as he winds down dirt roads that curve away from the coast and then towards it and then away again. Jae doesn’t question it—he trusts Brian, despite his deadly appearance. Besides, anywhere with Brian is better than being alone at home.

It feels like they’ve been in the car for hours, though in reality it’s probably only twenty minutes when Brian pulls the truck into a clearing a few yards off the side of the road. There’s a decently steep drop off on the side of the hill, allowing Jae to see over the edge and look down on the orange lights of their little town. Past that, the light of the moon and a few scant stars reflect off the rolling tide, and while he knows it’s wishful thinking, Jae wants to pretend that even from this far he can hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach.

“We should go to the beach sometime,” he blurts, already sending his mind racing with thoughts of wiggling his toes into warm sand with Brian at his side. He knows it’s unrealistic with school and the changing seasons, but a guy can dream. 

“Yeah,” Brian agrees easily, looking over the Jae from the driver’s seat with his now-familiar easy smile, cheeks dimpling to cast deep shadows on his face in the low light. “We will. But for now, I present,” he pauses to make a sweeping gesture, hand panning across the horizon, “Dairy Valley.”

“That’s a terrible name,” Jae snorts, which just makes Brian grin. 

“It fits the place, then,” he says, and Jae rolls his eyes. Brian is the first to hop out of the cab and Jae follows suit, looping around to the truck bed. Brian hops up, swinging his leg over before offering Jae a hand up. Jae almost loses his footing when he gets up on the step, just enough to see in the truck bed: Brian’s guitar case is there, but so are blankets, and what looks like very sloppily made kimbap. 

“You brought all this?” Jae asks, though the answer is obviously. Brian nods, a bit shy, but never lets go of Jae’s hand.

“I just wanted to do something nice. Since I’m sure you’re busy in college, and all,” he says sheepishly, and Jae is suddenly floored. 

“I—” Jae starts, but he very quickly loses his train of thought and all that comes out of his mouth is, “thank you.”

Brian’s clearly flustered, because all he can do is duck his head and pull Jae up so he’s standing in the truck bed too. Brian makes quick work of the blankets, turning the whole truck bed into what can only be described as a nest facing the overlook. 

“There’s one more thing,” Brian says when he’s finished, as the two of them settle down cross legged in the truck bed. He reaches behind him to grab the guitar case, pulling it onto his lap before presenting it to Jae with a flourish. “This,” he starts, unzipping the case for Jae as it rests across Jae’s thighs, “is for you.”

When Brian pulls back the black fabric of the case, Jae’s jaw drops. It’s a brand new acoustic guitar, the surface shiny and pristine and waiting to be played. 

“Brian,” he says immediately, looking up from the guitar to Brian’s hopeful face and back again. “This is too much. You can’t give me this.”

“Too late,” Brian chirps. “I bought it for you and I already have an acoustic, so it’s yours. No take backs.”

Jae scoffs, rolling his eyes at the childish expression before he turns back to admiring the guitar again. “It’s beautiful,” he says, still in awe, and Brian hums in agreement. 

“And yours,” he adds, just to fluster Jae a bit more. Picking up the guitar, Jae gives a tentative strum, fingers struggling to remember where to sit on the strings. He pauses, then, turning back to look at Brian before being struck by how absolutely incredible Brian is; beautiful, kind, and talented all in one. 

“Thank you,” he says again, and it’s for a lot more than just the guitar. 

Jae plays a few songs that he can remember, fumbling through the chords with Brian at his side murmuring words of encouragement. Soon enough though, the exhaustion hits him and he has to lay the guitar up against the cab of the truck, letting his head fall back and his eyes slip shut for a moment. The movement triggers a yawn from Brian, who tries and fails miserably to hide it.

“Here,” Jae offers without a second thought, leaning back and patting his chest. “Lay your head on me.”

Brian hesitates, but the tiredness must win out because he complies, settling his head just below Jae’s collarbone with a sigh. His arm hovers awkwardly at his side, so Jae takes Brian’s wrist in his hand to pull it across his body, till Brian’s fingers brush Jae’s ribs and his elbow rests above Jae’s belly button.

“There,” he says, and he feels Brian’s face move in what Jae can only assume to be a smile. 

The hard surface of the truck bed digs into Jae’s spine, but he finds that he doesn’t mind so much. Brian’s gotten bolder, fingers tracing the lines of Jae’s ribs where they stick out through his thin tee shirt. Night chill should make Jae feel uncomfortable with so little fabric but Brian runs hot, a long line of warmth all the way down Jae’s side. The acoustic guitar rests in the truck bed next to them, propped up against the cab. 

Jae traces its outline with his eyes, fingers moving, ghosting across the goosebumps that have risen where Brian’s shirt has slipped off his shoulder. It’s a beautiful instrument, golden and glossy and still too much for Jae to accept as a gift. Maybe he can talk Brian into some sort of timeshare agreement. 

Brian clears his throat, drawing Jae back down to earth. His eyes are sort of shifting around, like he can’t decide if he’s supposed to look at the sky or Jae or attempt to do both at the same time. All Jae has to do is nudge him and raise an eyebrow, and that goads Brian into speaking up. 

“Hyung, what are we?” Brian’s voice is soft, near breaking as he looks up at Jae, hand still splayed firmly across Jae’s ribs, close enough that Jae is sure Brian can feel the way his heart begins to race. 

Jae considers it for a moment. There’s a lot they can’t be, maybe even more than what they can. Or maybe it’s not what they  _ can’t  _ be, but what they’re not supposed to be. Even with everything happening, with all the people like them getting sick, Jae knows his parents would never worry, because good Korean boys aren’t “like that”. But Jae’s known for a long time that he’s exactly like that, and he knows that he likes Brian in a way that he shouldn’t. 

Carefully, he says, “We’re just two people that like each other. And I don’t need to think we need to call it anything, as long as we know how we feel.”

“Yeah,” Brian agrees, voice still delicate enough that Jae thinks it could be carried away by a light breeze. “Just two people that like each other.” He sits up after that, and Jae mourns the loss of warmth, chest tightening as he’s suddenly overcome with a wave of anxiety—maybe that was too much for Brian, just then. But Brian leans right back down, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to Jae’s lips. 

Things spiral quickly; Jae sits up, pulling Brian into his lap so Brian’s straddling Jae’s thighs, and Brian responds by wrapping his arms around the back of Jae’s neck, pulling him closer. Everything feels hot, too hot despite the cool night breeze around them. Brian radiates warmth, and it’s all Jae can do to not catch fire. 

They make out like the teenagers they are, jackets pushed off shoulders and spit slick lips finding the soft spaces under ears, above collarbones, the underside of wrists. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time, and Jae struggles to catch his breath when Brian finally pulls away, resting his forehead against Jae’s with his hand still clasped tight around Jae’s wrist. Jae can still feel Brian’s chest moving against his own, heaving like the rolling tide they both know so well. 

“Maybe I like you a little too much,” Brian jokes, breathless and giddy as a smile break onto his face. Jae uses Brian’s iron grip on his wrist to his advantage, tugging him back down so he’s on top of Jae again, head resting where Jae’s neck meets his shoulder. 

“I think you like me the perfect amount,” he replies, and Brian’s bright laughter gets carried away into the star-lit night. 

+

Just like the last time, Jae isn’t expecting a knock on his door long after the sun has sunk beneath the waves of the Pacific. Everyone in his house is upstairs, asleep, so he knows there’s only one person it could be. He’s a bit giddy as he rushes to the front door, doing his best to hide the excitement at seeing Brian again. 

The moment Jae opens the door and sees Brian standing there, he knows something is wrong. Most obvious is Brian’s bare face, devoid of his usually messy orange eyeshadow and smudged black eyeliner. His eyes look bigger without it, softer somehow. The next thing Jae notices is that they’re bloodshot and watering—Brian’s clearly trying his best to hold back tears. His hair’s been cut; no longer does it hang over the back of his neck or fall over his brow. Now it’s cropped close to his ears, and trimmed into short bangs across his forehead. That’s what Jae chooses to comment on first.   
“Your hair,” he breathes, reaching out to touch where it’s been shaved close by Brian’s ear but stopping short when he sees blood there—a fresh nick on the shell of Brian’s ear, one that no one had bothered to clean.

“My parents,” Brian says by way of explanation, voice quiet and unsteady. “They haven’t been happy about me staying out or going to the shop instead of studying on weekends but I got a bad mark back and they went ballistic. I didn’t know what to do, so I just let them—“ his voice breaks, and he gestures to his hair and face, and then his general person. Lips pressing together in a tight line, it’s clear he’s trying to say more but the words aren’t coming.

Jae saves him the trouble, fingers wrapping around Brian’s wrist as he pulls him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” he says, because it’s all he can say, and Brian takes it with a stilted nod, cheek pressed to Jae’s shoulder. 

They stay like that for longer than Jae cares to quantify, just Jae holding Brian and Brian holding Jae. When Brian pulls back, his eyes are wet and he has to clear his throat before he can speak.

“Let’s go somewhere,” he says hands moving to clasp at Jae’s wrists. “Let’s just get out of here. Let’s run away, just the two of us.”

Jae’s shell shocked for a second, unable to breathe or think or move. What Brian’s proposing—it’s insane, but in the best way. Jae half expects Brian to take it back, but when he sees the hard set of Brian’s mouth he realizes that’s entirely wrong. That’s not who Brian is at all. Brian, the boy who loves completely, who dives into things head first, who is strong and capable and the most incredible creation Jae has ever seen. And then, Jae realizes. There’s no place on earth he wouldn’t follow Brian to. And so he says yes. Just like he has from their very first day, he says yes.

They don’t think, they just go, Jane’s windows rolled down as low as they can go and Jae’s hand dangling out over the ledge, palm facing out and fingers spread to feel the wind rush against his skin as Brian drives with the radio cranked up as loud as it can go, U2 crooning sweet in their ears. 

“Where are we going?” Brian asks, though he’s the one driving. Jae should have known he didn’t have a plan, but it doesn’t make him nervous. When he’s with Brian, nothing can make him nervous.

The answer pops into his mind like it was fated, the fruit of the seed planted when Brian took him up to that overlook. “The beach,” he replies, voice steady and sure. Brian fixes him with a grin, like this was exactly what he was waiting for. “Let’s go to the beach.”

The hum of Jane’s engine grows, filling Jae with excitement from his toes up into his chest, a heady thrum he can feel even down to his blood. From this road, Jae can see down into the water, glittering as it reflects the clear night sky. His hand rests on top of Brian’s on the gear shift, and as he spares a glance over to see Brian’s profile illuminated by moonlight, he can’t help but think that this is what all those love songs are talking about; this is where he’s meant to be. 


End file.
